Two people got here this week by searching how to make homemade dildos. I'm just saying is all.

Really, though, I don't think I've ever posted anything on the subject. Maybe I should give people what they want?

Okay, fine.

Jenn's List of Homemade Dildos:

1. Lots of foods work well: Cucumbers are an old standby, and I suppose carrots could be could for anal play, since they are tapered. In both instances, though, make sure to use a condom. Who know what pesticides have been used on them, and who wants to go to an emergency room with half a carrot stuck up their rectum?
2. Ooh, here's an idea: Made a dildo ice sculpture. Create a mold (you're on your own for that part, pal) and fill it with water and freeze it. I'm sure it would be a neat sensation, though I guess you'd have to be quick with your business before it melted.
3. Bottles. These are also good because they are tapered. Again, I'd recommend a condom, as, well.. ouch. Be careful with that, m'kay?
4. A rolling pin.
5. The remote control. Who says they have to be round? Again, condoms might be a good idea, if you intend to use it again. Though, if you're particularly agile, you may want to try to change channels while you use it. If you can do this, let me know because I want to meet you.
6. Kids toys usually come in interesting shapes and sizes. Experiment. Don't return them, though, ew.
7. If you want to great really creative, I remember seeing somewhere someone attached a phallus to a cordless drill. That might be fun.
8. Candles. The long tapered ones.
9. I recently bought a 'sonic' toothbrush. It has a nice smooth end, and has good vibrations. Not that I've tried it yet. Seriously.
10. The toilet paper holder. Get the spring loaded kind for extra sensation.

Alright. Are you happy now? If any of these fail (and they probably will), spend the $15 and buy yourself a damn dildo, ya cheap bastard.